[“Cole?” I said after I’d nuzzled my head under his chin.
“Elle,” he said, his tone all tease.
I nudged him. I was trying to be serious here. “I don’t hate you.”
He took a few moments before he replied. “I know,” he said as we went through the front door. “But sometimes I wish you did. Leaving you alone would be so much easier if I knew you hated me.”
The building was still dark. Everyone must have still been out having a good time.
“Why do you want to leave me alone?”
Cole’s body went a little rigid. “Because I can’t have you the way I want you. I know I told you at first that I was fine with any piece of you, but that changed when I—” he cut himself off abruptly. Clearing his throat, he carried me into a large dark room filled with a handful of bunk beds lining the walls. “I tried being content having a piece of you, but then that changed, and I wanted all of you. I needed all of you. But since I can’t have all of you, I’ll just have to figure out how to live with nothing of you.”
I didn’t know which was sadder: his voice or the way my heart felt after hearing those words. It was all or nothing of me with Cole. He would only settle for all of me or nothing of me. Those were the two options he could live with, but I could really only live with one.
That was my answer. I couldn’t live without him. Cole. I couldn’t live without him. I’d tried and failed miserably.]
Cole & Elle ― Nicole Williams, Up In Flames